This is the story of my life...

Here I am again.

I've realized that it's difficult for me to find time for writing new posts.

I know that nobody cares really because nobody reads my blog but I don't mind, I write anyway.

It allows me to disconnect from my reality.

I don't know why but I have a strange feeling. The feeling of being lost, of having difficulties to know what exactly do with my life.

I often have this feeling during this season. When the summer arrives, I often have my mind free from the studies and that makes me think about my way of life.

I usually think about what I'm doing in my life, my objectives, my tops, my challenges...

I also think if my life is going the way I want or if I'm doing anything wrong.

I talked with my friends and my parents about my life.

My parents said to me that my life is going well because I'm studying something that I like allegedly, I have friends who love me and I can count on them, I have a boyfriend who really loves me and I have parents who love me above all.

My friends said that they envied me because I have a work, I have my parents and I have a boyfriend who really loves me. I don't have to pay anything because I live with my parents and they don't let me pay anything. They also help me with my money, studies and everything they can.

However, I feel a little lost. My mother says that this is because I have a lot of good things in my life and I don't valorate them. She also says that I usually tend to idealize situations, moments and people and when they aren't the way which they were supposed to be (as I thought) I get disappointed.

Yeah... That's true. I always idealize things, for example work and studies.

When I started my degree I thought that I'd be completely different from what it is. So I started to feel confused and I wanted to leave it.

When I started my work as shop assistant in a lingerie shop I also thought I'd be a great job but the truth is that it's hard and bad-paid.

Then I get very disappointed and I think that my life is a shit and I want to change some things. But finally I don't change them, I just let things happen. But I'm a person who needs to have control of her life, so when they happen I get nervous because I've got the feeling of losing control and that makes me feel really desperate.

Wow... Too many things here... I think that the cause by the which no one reads this blog is that this blog is a chaos.

My mind may be a chaos... But... how do you leave chaos and achieve peace?

Maybe I need a psychologist who tells me what to do to put a little of organization in my head.

LOL!

Being a teen is difficult. And even more if you are more mature than your folks of your generation.

My job partners say that I'm 18 but I have the mind of somebody aged 25.

How am I gonna enjoy my life if I have 25 years old in my head but I don't have the same responsabilities and obligations of that age...?

Well... Too many things for today.

That's all friends...

I hope you understand... (What am I saying? Nobody reads it... Nobody will care xD)

Enjoy your summer and your holidays!

Cherry

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