Hi everyone!
How are things going?
Well, for me are... simply going xD
I went out yesterday with my boyfriend and my friends. We went to eat something and later we drank something in a pub.
But today I have to work so I stayed until 2.45.
I maybe go out tonite.
My boyfriend and some of my friends aren't going to be here today and tomorrow so I'll go with one of the friends who stay.
Wow... there's a big chaos in my head. Today, when I had just woken up my mother came and said me something. As I had just woken up, I complained at her and she said: "I miss my daughter. She was someone who had her good moments and her laughs and her bad moments and her sorrow. Now I don't know what has happened with her because I can't see her".
Do you know that I've cried?
I think she couldn't see me cry but I really felt sad.
She thinks that I'm not the same but the worst is that I sometimes feel it. Sometimes I look myself at the mirror and I said: "Hey, what's wrong? I wasn't like this before? What is going on?"
I used to laugh, I use to enjoy, I didn't care about if things went well or not. I simply enjoyed my life.
I've realized that I'm not enjoying.
The other night I met my boyfriend after the dinner and as we were sitting I told him that I need new challenges, new motivations.
I know I have a lot of things in my life and I can't complain, of course, but I need something which makes me feel full.
I have my boyfriend whom I love as the best thing in my life, I have a good parents, friends and I have the possibility of studying. So, I know that I'm very lucky.
But I really don't know what to do with my life... I don't know what I want to become, I don't know how to lead my existance.
My mother says that I'm a Peter Pan xD LOL because I don't want to grow.
Yeah... that is sometimes true. I'd like to be a child and have all done, but life isn't so easy and I have to carry on.
Life is so complicated. I still don't know how a 18 aged girl can feel so secure and so weak at the same time!
CONFUSION! ^^
Have a very nice weekend. I think that I'll spend some time to think about me and my life. But don't worry, I won't do anything odd because above all, I love to have a life so that's the most important thing.
Cherry
...
PS: Thank you girls for all your comments. I feel really happy when I read them.
Weekly Menu Plan || Summer Time
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1 comentario:
Wait... your name is Sara?! I thought it was Cherry! :) I'll call you Cherry, ok?
This time in your life is not unlike other young adult woman transitioning from teenager to young adult. I went through the same thing, and so did my sisters. But sometimes we all feel like we don't really know what we're doing!
When I started studying in college, I was so upset with myself because I had NO idea what career path/degree I wanted to enroll in. I was wasting time & money taking random classes that I wasn't sure were going to count toward anything! It was sure nice when I finally realized what my passion was and what God thought I would excel in- sign language interpreting! I still have one more national test to take in 3 years... but it's taking me 6 years to graduate from college. It should've taken 2-4, but I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. So, hang in there! We all have that awkward in-between decision phase!
Since you said you're taking a liking to Jimmy Eat World, I'll refer you to a post I did on my blog awhile ago about my favorite song by them "can you still feel the butterflies?" (hence my blog name!). The lyrics are fitting. Things like "If I don't let myself be happy now, then when? If not NOW, when?" The lyrics seem to fit my life in so many ways! Also, I don't know if you're religious, but I am a Christian (church of jesus christ of latter-day saints ... also called mormons) and I put one of my favorite bible passages in the posting. Enjoy!
http://scottandalisse.blogspot.com/2008/03/for-me-this-is-heaven.html
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